he Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.


Foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
obtaining sex.

Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as
your septic tank.

Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous
"Surrender Dorothy" on the Beltway overpass.

Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
recipient who doesn't get it.

Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra
prescription.

Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.

DIOS: the one true operating system.

Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: terminal coolness.

Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family.

Osteopornosis: a degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a
serious bummer.

Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at
Buckingham palace.

Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window.

Acme: a generic skin disease (alt: the *best* skin disease).

Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

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