Things parents can learn from their kids...


1. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke,
lots of it.


2. A six year-old can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 40-year-old man says they can
only do it in the movies.

3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and
run over them with roller blades, they can
ignite.


4. A four-year-old's voice is louder than
200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

5. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan,
the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42
pound boy wearing a superman cape.

6. That same motor, however, is strong enough to
spread paint on all 4 walls of a 20x20 ft. room.


7. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.


8. You should not throw baseballs up when the
ceiling fan is on.


9. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to
throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.


10. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.


11. The glass in windows (even double pane)doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.


12. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an
overcast day.


13. If you use a waterbed as homeplate while wearing
baseball shoes, it does not leak...it explodes.


14. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 square foot house

15. Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of
a 4-year-old.


16. Duplo's will not.


17. Play Dough and Microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.


18. Super glue is forever.


19. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want
to know. Ditto Tarzan.


20. No matter how much Jell-O you can put
into a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.


21. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


22. VCR's don't eject PBJ sandwiches, even though
the commercials show that they do.

23. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


24. Marbles in gas tanks make a lot of noise when
driving.


25. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

26. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

27. The fire dept. in San Diego has at least a 5
min. response time.

28. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.


29. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

30. Cats throw up twice their body weight when
dizzy.


31. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.


32. A good sense of humor will get you through
most problems in life, unfortunately, mostly
in retrospect.


33. Having children is like having a bowling
alley installed in your brain. -



Back